Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
Randomize
