"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
Randomize