I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
My secretary told me she wishes she can have an affair with someone in the office (she's separated from her cheating husband)...Umm...Okaaay
He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
Randomize
