I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
Randomize
