my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
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