you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
Omg I joined a choir last night...
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
Randomize
