okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
Randomize
