I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
Randomize
