You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
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