Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
the night ended with taco bell and tears
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Btw I puked in your glovebox
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