walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
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