Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
The struggles of a small town man whore
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
