If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
i need to put some appletini on your dick
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
Randomize
