i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
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