sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
Randomize
