I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
So here I am, sexting at work.
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize