I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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