am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Randomize
