oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
