why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
I think a kid would responsible me up
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
Randomize
