Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
These 23 People Walked In On Someone And Saw Some Crazy Sh*t
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Confessions From 23 People Who Have Been Hiding Terrible Secrets
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"