I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
These 23 People Had The Most Insane Spring Breaks Ever
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
25 Women On How They Let Their Oblivious Partners Know They Want To Bone
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again