idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
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I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
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But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
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