I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
Randomize
