oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
Fun holiday story for you: Alex and I went out drinking. She left. I needed a ride home. Met this dude and told him to drive my car back. Once at my house, I made him take out my dog and then apologized for not wanting to make out with him. I said, let me go see if my roommate is interested and then I slept in Alex's bed all night.
20 bucks says he was an actual leprechaun
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
you never un-have a 4some
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
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