Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
Randomize
