well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
Randomize
