is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
Randomize
