it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
He keeps bees of course he's weird
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
Randomize
