Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Randomize
