Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
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