i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
I intend to get homeless drunk
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
I texted him: “Come over for the Super Bowl. I promise lots of scoring.”
My divorce is turning into a porn script
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
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