well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
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