Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
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