but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
Randomize
