Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
Randomize
