we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
Randomize
