Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
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