My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
Randomize