hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
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