Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
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