I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
Im just a social blackout drinker.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
Randomize
