His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
Randomize
