clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
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