I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
Randomize
