And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
We need to step in, this can't continue. The guy she went home with last night looked exactly like Count Olaf, right down to the unibrow.
Which version tho, Jim Carrey or Neil Patrick Harris?
THAT DOESN'T FUCKING MATTER, YOU DON'T FUCK COUNT OLAF!!!
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Randomize
