I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
Randomize
