I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
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