When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
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