I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
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