hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
You know you have crossed to the dark side of marriage when a nap is more important than jacking off
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
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