I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
Randomize
