we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
