think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
Randomize
