Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
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