apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
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