I bet he comes in French.
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
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