part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Randomize
