At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
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